Car-share Connoisseur T-Shirts

'The wife will be late I'm afraid-it's my turn for the car today.'

'Lover's lance isn't the same as it used to be!'

It's great for pulling the birds!

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

I want a car that says 'I've arrived' but didn't use too much gas getting there.

Dog wiping windscreen with tail

"Do you want the last piece, or can I have it?"

Lane restricted to cars with three or more persons at least one of whom is a woman or visible minority.

Chicken Road Crossing

The Hybrid

Old woman knocks down man because she didn't have enough gas to go around him.

Self driving car containing a baby elephant

'In retrospect naming the business after me probably wasn't a good idea,'

"I want one that's going to fall apart. . ."

Samosas

2020 Panic Room

"It'h thnowing. . .me no like thnow in thpring. . . "

'Power steering.'

'My anger counselor wants to talk to your anger counselor.'

"Is it me, or does the old man still look angry at us for denting his Cadillac?"

I'd Rather Be Unicycling.

Drive Time On Air - 'Are there any drivers out there?'

"And this little hybrid beauty runs on either gas or liposuction fat."

"Move over, pardner, yer ridin' in the horsepool lane!"

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a rhino appeared and charged our vehicle...

Scrapyard Worker

'Miss the ol' swamp, don't ya? The soft mud, the quiet, the moonlit nights...can I have your rig if you go back?'

"You'd think they'd at least offer health insurance with this job."

Three long vehicles.

'You've slept with your new car every night for a week. When's the newness wear off!'

Your new faster sleeker post office!