Car Seat Expert Gifts

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

"Sorry Tina, I won't be able to come over: Joey is finally asleep and I don't dare move..."

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Knights Wing Mirrors.

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

To prevent geese from flying toward its planes, Jupiter Airlines made some key design changes,

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

'Your little one is giving the sitter a big kiss-of life.'

Women with her children of leashes passes dog walker with dogs so well trained they have no leashes.

Self-walking dog

"I failed driver's ed....Apparently there's like this rule about rear-ending a police car!"

'...windpuffs in front and a capped hock on the right rear...'

'See? If Mommy had been wearing her seatbelt that wouldn't have happened.'

This place is crawling with backstabbers, but they don't worry me.

What a nice thing to say! Thanks for calling. What's up? Jan said Twig was a terrific babysitter. No surprise. Click. But then she said something odd. About MY daughter? When she got home, their house was spotless. Maybe it was a different "Twig."

Now do you see the point of regular electrical checks?

Sat Nag

Man with Air Bag,"Did you know the earth spins at 1038 mph?"

"I told you not to bump your sister so hard"

Discussed on Car Talk

Little doctor. Little Quack

"You father's a nap just waiting to happen."

'Now don't you go worrying about it. It's only communicable to children!'

"I've got a dog licence. Will that do?"

Hair of the dog spots: maltese on a walk

The Pacifier

'I don't care what planet he's from, Ma'am, he's gotta be in a car seat.'

'What makes you think you need a new set of shoes?'

'To more closely match reality, all our crash test dummies now hold cellphones.'

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comment section just solved the Middle East crisis."

Sporting gent buying a hunting horse from a horse dealer.

Freddie stretches..and falls over. His mom asks, 'What you doing?' Freddie answers, 'I want to show you how much I love you, but my arms aren't long enough!'

"I don't know - the EPA was here when I left last night."