Car Safety Professional Pillows

"Lose the seatbelt, Jason! You're embarrassing the entire family."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

Crash Test Dummy Blues

"Have you had a stressful experience lately, such as an accident?"

"Seriously Dad, it totally wasn't my fault."

Nice park. . .

Knights Wing Mirrors.

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

'What the … ? How did those thugs get into my car?'

Last Road Rage Therapist for 500 Miles

"Nice job with the petunias, Skip. They're a perfect complement to the trip wires."

"I've seen this before. Keep his head inside the car when the vehicle is in motion."

'I don't like being a crash dummy either but there are some jobs humans won't do.'

"It helps prevent side collisions."

Gas Pedal Sticking?

Alien crash test dummy emerges from downed UFO.

Big bumpers.

'I'm afraid we need someone with a little more backbone for this position.'

'Things are going from bad to worse in the auto industry.'

Crash Test Dummy Jokes that Get Old Fast. Oh, no! Somebody cut the brakes! Every single time.

'See? If Mommy had been wearing her seatbelt that wouldn't have happened.'

"Right I've checked everything 6 times. Surely nothing can go wrong this time."

Crash Test Dummy Denied Insurance.

My doctor advised me to start walking more.

"Oh, great, the warranty is up."

He suspected the driver's airbag was not functioning correctly.

Piano Airbag

'I'm getting really tired of your friend crashing here every night!'

"I couldn't work out how to use my car seat-belt. . . and then it suddenly clicked!"

'Oh, Sweetie, look, Daddy's fitting a new car seat for baby.'

"Any accidents within the last twelve months?"

Seat belts - The giving of life.

"You're going on a very short journey."