Car Safety Engineer Pillows

Crash test dummy - "You f**king idiot! Why didn't you crash into me back there?!"

"Ma'am, it's your husband. There's been an auto accident."

'Things are going from bad to worse in the auto industry.'

Alien crash test dummy emerges from downed UFO.

"You're going on a very short journey."

"Have you had a stressful experience lately, such as an accident?"

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

"Seriously Dad, it totally wasn't my fault."

Wall Street...

Nice park. . .

'What the … ? How did those thugs get into my car?'

'... and make it look like an accident.'

Mash-Test Dummies.

"If this car is so smart, why didn't it let me know there was a cop there?"

"I've seen this before. Keep his head inside the car when the vehicle is in motion."

"Don't worry. The building is earthquake proof, but unfortunately we haven't solved the

'I don't like being a crash dummy either but there are some jobs humans won't do.'

"It helps prevent side collisions."

"Yeah, work is tough, but nothing compared to coming home and stepping on one of the kids' legos."

Big bumpers.

'Frankly the only Cheap way of getting rid of the knocking from the engine is to turn up the volume on the radio.'

"Seat belts unfastened? Excellent."

Male Crash-test Dummy: 'So...would you like to go for a crash in my car?'

'It's a hybrid.'

'Never thought I'd see you again - you really must have nine lives.'

Crash Test Dummy's Running Machine

Crash Test Dummy Jokes that Get Old Fast. Oh, no! Somebody cut the brakes! Every single time.

'Go ahead and dig, you said! what are the odds there's a pipe right there, you said!'

"Right I've checked everything 6 times. Surely nothing can go wrong this time."

Crash Test Dummy Denied Insurance.

'I'm getting really tired of your friend crashing here every night!'

"I couldn't work out how to use my car seat-belt. . . and then it suddenly clicked!"

"You'd think they'd at least offer health insurance with this job."

Wall.