Car Cleanliness Critic T-Shirts

'Why do you cats always have to leave tracks on my nice clean car?'

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

But does he dust anything at our home? Noooo

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

"Washing your car will cause it to rain – science or superstition? We investigate on the next 'Cause and Effect.'"

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

"I won't go near one of those driver-less things until they iron out the bugs."

'I thought of becoming a doctor, but you have to wash your hands all the time . . .'

"This looks like more fun than taking a bath."

'It's true, I don't like soap, but you don't have to rub my face in it.'

"I like everything about the car except it's expression."

'We'd like to take it for a test drive.'

"Engineers have actually found a way to fuel this car with the dignity you lose as you're driving it."

"Hey, hon - they published my article."

Mom! The maid is hiding dust under Grandma again!

Insensitive driving school - 'That was crap.'

"With the deluxe package you get a vacuum, vanilla scented interior spray freshener, carnauba wax, and enlightenment."

"You know... these speed camera shots are the only photos we have of that car."

'Of course, you're probably concerned with mileage and the high gas prices. . .'

Woman going to wash partners car with wire wool.

Your work station is a disgrace! It looks as if it hasn't been cleaned for a month. Don't blame me, I've only been here a week.

"Dude, you suck."

Mushroom cloud from a car's exhaust pipe.

"With this car Mister, the girls will find you irresistible"

"At last! We've finally reduced our dependency on foreign oil."

'This model was proudly built in the USA by Mexican workers on Chinese wages.'

"Welcome to 'Introductory Splatter Painting'."

Econo Air-bag

Hummer Hell

"Darling - these shelves could do with a dust..."

'Car maker management made big bucks screwing up for years, and can you believe, Republicans are blaming the UNIONS!'

"I think we have the part. What model is it?"

Nervous car wash owner sees huge flock of birds on his roof when he opens up for business.

'These gas prices are outrageous! Almost as expensive as bottled water!'