Captains Of Chaos T-Shirts

'Nothing important. Just missing another deadline.'

"I'm so good at this!"

'It's 10:00. Do you know where your kids are?'

"Cat park"

Help! (Woman stuck on washing line).

'Actually, they're pretty nice, once they settle down.'

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

Paper Trail

"Please excuse the mess. We had a major paradigm shift."

Disorder in the Court!

Repletion.

Naughty Puppy Dog.

'When an outboard goes overboard'

"Walter had an attack of road rage in the driveway."

'Now, you'd better pick up your toys or no bath!'

"Ahoy!"

The art of fishing.

'Oh my God, we've been burgle- ... oh wait, I just remembered, we've got children.'

It's folks like Mildred who make collectibles collectable!

No wheelies.

'Roger that...I'm taking the first clean shot I can get.'

'I don't know why you waste your time with that watering can. The hose is much quicker.'

'Honey, I just ran into the store. Did you need me to pick anything up while I'm here?'

'Do you think Doctor could see him soon, I have the dinner to prepare.'

Potty Training.

"Quick, act casual."

"Well, what I lack in cognitive thinking skills I more than make in moral flexibility."

'I'm not stressed out. I'm stressed in.'

"Jeez, what a day. It's good to be home..."

'I see you caught the fish, but the boat got away.'

Must... Remember...

Dinner Aboard an East-India Ship (After Cpt. Francis Marryat)

A rowing cox takes a taxi cab.

"I am beginning to think that my student teaching experience may not have completely prepared me for my own classroom."