Captain Connoisseur Gifts

'One day, this will make a wonderful metaphor.'

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

'Just a couple more and we'll call it a day.'

"You know damn well what noise!"

Heaven

Man frozen in portrait pose.

'Well, it was just a first draft.'

Moliere

C Day Lewis.

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

Charles Dickens.

Bleak House

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

"Don't forget, the market will take a sharp downturn on the stroke of midnight."

A lot of attention gets paid to the Earl of Sandwich, and rightfully so, but let's not forget to show some respect for that neglected Lord of Lunch, the Viscount of Potato Salad.

'Your business plan needs work, I'm not feeling a tingle of moral remorse.'

"Hold on there buddy, that's not a KJV Bible." (two men talking, one with a Bible)

'This new gymnastics coach kind of gives me the creeps.'

Fisherman Funneral

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

Sergei Rachmaninov

When feud becomes best seller! Moby Dick vs Herman Melville!

"I'm in a love-hate relationship with money. I love it and I hate not having it."

'Sometimes I worry that maybe money can't buy happiness, but then I return to reality and I'm O.K.'

'What do you mean you're not reaching into the livewell?'

3 reasons why we need good mental health coverage. . .

"We need to keep our banking separate from our pockets."

'That was your grandfather -- his catapult went off while he was cleaning it.'

"We call it that because Pastor Dave is always aware of kick-off time."