Cape Aficionado Gifts

Need something from the fridge? This looks like a job for...Indoorman!

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

Sauvignon Bonk

"Now I really hate poetry."

An Unexpected Guest.

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

Duck Hunt

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"Tallyho!"

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'I love cutting trees in perfect circles because it drives aerial photography interpreters crazy.'

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

"All right, boys, we're had our fun."

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Taking it easy

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"I make it myself!"

Shellfie

'When I was a Scout, we had to blaze trails without sticky notes.'

"Do you think there's ANY possibility that the 76 pints of lager,13 bottles of wine and 12 kilos of chocolate you've had MAY have contributed to you feeling 'a bit under the weather'?"

Picks your own strawberries....Strangle your own turkeys

'Thirty years from now, this will seem terribly quaint and awash in charming period detail.'

Woman thinking about luxuries.

Bulltoon: Certifiabull

"So the wife says to me, you need to take the dog out..." "Wine list, please."

'So don't keep forgetting the net!'

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."