Canteen Chef Pillows

'Chili again?'

Cafe Burns.

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

'Oxford, Cambridge, Redbrick, Poly . . .'

I don

'Careful, this used to be hot.'

'This melts in the mouth.' 'It's ice cubes.'

'You made me jump,'

I like the look of the sherry trifle!

"Let me take that for you."

'Your tea is getting cold.'

'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday you like beans, now you don't like beans.'

Schoolgirl in canteen: 'The food's great but I wish they'd stop calling it 'pukka tukka'.'

'You're in trouble. Your confidential memo went toxic and so did that tuna salad.'

'Hey that's our waiter on his way home!'

'I know you are doing your best, but it will be great when Pat comes home.'

The Egyptians trained baboons to wait on tables.

Frankly, I've seen better menus on my computer accounts Package.

In a coal miner diner, customers have fainted from the fumes.

'Not at all, Mr. Porker, we already have several pigs working in our company cafeteria.'

'If I were you I wouldn't eat this on an empty stomach.'

"Why do people around here get so agitated about stuff like yoghurt?" "It's the culture of the organisation"

'Eat it while it's still £6.50.'

Police canteen.

'How about a drink?' 'You've got gravy.'

'This is my first day on the job. Is anything okay?'

"God, if you can help me find a seat by my friends, I'll listen to my teachers, do my homework and clean my room..."

"No, there wasn't a chemical accident. He's just here to change the food in the vending machine."

'Biscuit?' 'Leave it in the in-tray for the morning.'

Pirate Captain, with his hook accessories, in his kitchen.

Man about to empty his tray into a bin labelled: 'Feedback'.

"The chef is giddy with excitement! He just bought an Instant Pot!"

I've changed my mind about the soup of the month.

A man is in a canteen, there are two coffee makers, one is Mr Coffee, the other Too Much Coffee

"Our salmon is wild. Our cook is farm-raised."