Canteen Chef Pillows

'Chili again?'

Cafe Burns.

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

'Oxford, Cambridge, Redbrick, Poly . . .'

'Careful, this used to be hot.'

'Your tea is getting cold.'

'You made me jump,'

I like the look of the sherry trifle!

'This melts in the mouth.' 'It's ice cubes.'

'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday you like beans, now you don't like beans.'

Schoolgirl in canteen: 'The food's great but I wish they'd stop calling it 'pukka tukka'.'

'You're in trouble. Your confidential memo went toxic and so did that tuna salad.'

'I know you are doing your best, but it will be great when Pat comes home.'

Frankly, I've seen better menus on my computer accounts Package.

The Egyptians trained baboons to wait on tables.

'Hey that's our waiter on his way home!'

In a coal miner diner, customers have fainted from the fumes.

'Not at all, Mr. Porker, we already have several pigs working in our company cafeteria.'

'If I were you I wouldn't eat this on an empty stomach.'

"Why do people around here get so agitated about stuff like yoghurt?" "It's the culture of the organisation"

'How about a drink?' 'You've got gravy.'

"God, if you can help me find a seat by my friends, I'll listen to my teachers, do my homework and clean my room..."

'This is my first day on the job. Is anything okay?'

"No, there wasn't a chemical accident. He's just here to change the food in the vending machine."

Pirate Captain, with his hook accessories, in his kitchen.

'Biscuit?' 'Leave it in the in-tray for the morning.'

'Eat it while it's still £6.50.'

Police canteen.

Man about to empty his tray into a bin labelled: 'Feedback'.

I've changed my mind about the soup of the month.

"Our salmon is wild. Our cook is farm-raised."

We have frozen meals just like your mother microwaved.

"The chef is giddy with excitement! He just bought an Instant Pot!"

A man is in a canteen, there are two coffee makers, one is Mr Coffee, the other Too Much Coffee