Canteen Aficionado Gifts

I like the look of the sherry trifle!

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

La Table

Back to school.

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

"Two vegans, please."

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

Moulin Rouge Security

'Bring me another coffee would you...'

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"You're wasting your time, I'll never understand which one is Liam Hemsworth and which one is Chris Hemsworth."

Choice hellhole

'How was the squid?'

'Oxford, Cambridge, Redbrick, Poly . . .'

'No, we don't have any tuna FISH, but we do have salmon FISH, trout FISH, and catfish FISH.'

'Hello Sir. I'm Jeff, and I'll be kissing your butt all evening in the hope of getting a decent tip.'

"Morning, Brad." "Morning, Angelina."

Cast away in a life raft with Dr. Phil.

"Hypochondriac's handbook. A little passion project I'm working on;, or, rather, I would be working on."

"Chef, we've run out of terracotta roof tiles!"

"It's finally happened - Tom Hanks was in every movie this year."

'As it's your birthday, I think I'll have a pudding.'

"Obviously, sir, it's a very discerning, vegetarian fly."

"Is the slop fresh?"

"You know that kid that submitted a screenplay to us on the back of a restaurant menu? I'm passing on it. I like the screenplay, but I hate that restaurant."

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."