Canteen Aficionado Gifts

I like the look of the sherry trifle!

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

La Table

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

"Two vegans, please."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

Moulin Rouge Security

'Bring me another coffee would you...'

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

"You're wasting your time, I'll never understand which one is Liam Hemsworth and which one is Chris Hemsworth."

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

Choice hellhole

'How was the squid?'

'Oxford, Cambridge, Redbrick, Poly . . .'

'No, we don't have any tuna FISH, but we do have salmon FISH, trout FISH, and catfish FISH.'

"Morning, Brad." "Morning, Angelina."

'Hello Sir. I'm Jeff, and I'll be kissing your butt all evening in the hope of getting a decent tip.'

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

'As it's your birthday, I think I'll have a pudding.'

"Chef, we've run out of terracotta roof tiles!"

"Hypochondriac's handbook. A little passion project I'm working on;, or, rather, I would be working on."

"It's finally happened - Tom Hanks was in every movie this year."

"Is the slop fresh?"

"You know that kid that submitted a screenplay to us on the back of a restaurant menu? I'm passing on it. I like the screenplay, but I hate that restaurant."

"Obviously, sir, it's a very discerning, vegetarian fly."

'She'll be back!!!'