Canine Theologian Gifts

'...and God created canine in his own image.'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like. . .

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

"The universe must love dogs - otherwise, why would sticks just fall from the sky?"

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

"Okay, who's purring?"

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."

I bark and bark and bark. . . Therefore I am.

'The dog doesn't like fishing so I'm taking the cat.'

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

'You know Solomon, I just keep feeling that something isn't quite right today.'

"No, no, that's my copy of 'Being and Time'—look at the teeth marks along 'Heidegger'."

"My new year's resolution. . . .Not to drink out of the toilet."

When dogs appear to be deep in thought.

"Why so sad, Pal?"

"This ham bone did not have much meat on it by the time I met it, but it tasted of meat, and for that I am eternally grateful."

'I bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep! There has to be more than that!'

"I disagree. I think we're ninety percent breeding and ten percent grooming."

"A guard dog?! You think you're a guard dog!

"The question should be, do PEOPLE go to heaven?"

I wonder if they can think...

Man's Best Friend - Man's Worst Friend - Man's Only Friend

"What truth can there be, if there is only death?" "Too early for Tolstoy."

Doggy Peer Pressure

"You're the one with the fancy forensic psychology degree; you tell me which one of them did it."