Canine Theologian Gifts

'...and God created canine in his own image.'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like. . .

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

"The universe must love dogs - otherwise, why would sticks just fall from the sky?"

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

"Okay, who's purring?"

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."

I bark and bark and bark. . . Therefore I am.

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

'The dog doesn't like fishing so I'm taking the cat.'

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

The question is, where does want to go for a walk end and need to go for a walk begin? Existentialist dogs.

'You know Solomon, I just keep feeling that something isn't quite right today.'

When dogs appear to be deep in thought.

"No, no, that's my copy of 'Being and Time'—look at the teeth marks along 'Heidegger'."

I was allowed to chew this. But not that

"My new year's resolution. . . .Not to drink out of the toilet."

"Why so sad, Pal?"

"This ham bone did not have much meat on it by the time I met it, but it tasted of meat, and for that I am eternally grateful."

'I bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep! There has to be more than that!'

I wonder if they can think...

"The question should be, do PEOPLE go to heaven?"

Doggy Peer Pressure

"A guard dog?! You think you're a guard dog!

Oh, jeez, I should remember this guy! How do I sniff him without him knowing I'm sniffing him?

Man's Best Friend - Man's Worst Friend - Man's Only Friend

"I disagree. I think we're ninety percent breeding and ten percent grooming."

"What truth can there be, if there is only death?" "Too early for Tolstoy."