Canine Genetics T-Shirts

"According to the pedigree, his family has been mutts for twelve generations."

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

"Wow. . . what's that?!"

Foster failure

Collies Without Borders

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

A Golden Non-Retriever

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

'Well, they're just great for running down gazelles and jackals!'

Kultural K9's.

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

Puppies

"His father came from a family of climbers."

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

"Yeah well, now that we're married, he's not making any effort: he hasn't been to a grooming appointment in months!"

This is Giselle, our bichon frise, and Fred, our legacy pet.""This is Giselle, our bichon frise, and Fred, our legacy pet."

'He tells me there's one chapter of his memoir titled, 'My Likeable Master'.'

"She's a golden retriever...I've always had a thing for blondes!"

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

Good, but not Great Danes.

"I'm sixty three in human years and the mother of octuplets. Again."

'I understand you don't have a resume but you do have your pedigree papers?'

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

Headshot of perky dog.

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

Dog Show: Worst of Breed