Canine Genetics Pillows

"According to the pedigree, his family has been mutts for twelve generations."

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

Foster failure

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

"Wow. . . what's that?!"

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

Collies Without Borders

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

A Golden Non-Retriever

'Well, they're just great for running down gazelles and jackals!'

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

Kultural K9's.

'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

"Yeah well, now that we're married, he's not making any effort: he hasn't been to a grooming appointment in months!"

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

This is Giselle, our bichon frise, and Fred, our legacy pet.""This is Giselle, our bichon frise, and Fred, our legacy pet."

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

"His father came from a family of climbers."

'He tells me there's one chapter of his memoir titled, 'My Likeable Master'.'

Puppies

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

'It's a bloody-cross-breed.'

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

Good, but not Great Danes.

"I'm sixty three in human years and the mother of octuplets. Again."

"She's a golden retriever...I've always had a thing for blondes!"

'I understand you don't have a resume but you do have your pedigree papers?'

'Perhaps you'd like to explain this,'

Dog Show: Worst of Breed

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'