Canine Geneticist T-Shirts

"Why don't they come up with a breed that'll live longer?"

"Wow. . . what's that?!"

Collies Without Borders

Kultural K9's.

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

'Boy, am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

Protoplasm

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

'He tells me there's one chapter of his memoir titled, 'My Likeable Master'.'

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

"I'm sixty three in human years and the mother of octuplets. Again."

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."

Dog History

'It's a bloody-cross-breed.'

This is Roscoe, our first pooch

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

Dog Training. Most of the choices the dogs made for their book reports are logical. The labrador retriever chose "Catch-22." The terrier, who loves to dig, chose "Journey to the Center of the Earth." The basset hound is doing his on "The Howling." and the shar-pei picked "A Wrinkle in Time." But the dachshund's choice confuses me. Even with the ground-hugging physique, he selected "Wuthering Heights."

Dog to dog: 'I hate the way pointers are always blaming somebody else.'

"Okay, we get it. You're descended from wolves."

"He was sold to me as a Weimaraner but I really think he's more of a Wisenheimer."

'One thing, however - if they DO bite you, you don't suffer!'

'David discovered that the New & Improved Dog Food was more New & Improved than his New & Improved Canned Soup.'

"I've lived among them my entire life, and I can tell you, 'fetch,' 'roll over,' 'sit,' 'stay,' and 'bad dog,' is the extent of their vocabulary."

Gardener pulling a tree through a dog park with a dog marking his territory.

Most dog-like dog.

"Tonight I'm making spotted bass. Tomorrow night, spotted spaghetti."

Best in Heat.

"Come on now. One of you guys know how to be a SETTER."

The poodle plague of 1712 crippled France's overpriced dog industry for decades.

Fauna Hybrids

Village Pet Shop.

"We're expecting quite a litter this time."

The Dog Breeder and His Son

' I don't care what they do call me, you call me mom.'

Dog Show: Most human look.