Canine Geneticist T-Shirts

"Why don't they come up with a breed that'll live longer?"

"Wow. . . what's that?!"

Collies Without Borders

Kultural K9's.

Protoplasm

'Boy, am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

'He tells me there's one chapter of his memoir titled, 'My Likeable Master'.'

Dog History

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."

"I'm sixty three in human years and the mother of octuplets. Again."

Dog to dog: 'I hate the way pointers are always blaming somebody else.'

"Okay, we get it. You're descended from wolves."

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

"He was sold to me as a Weimaraner but I really think he's more of a Wisenheimer."

Best in Heat.

Gardener pulling a tree through a dog park with a dog marking his territory.

"Tonight I'm making spotted bass. Tomorrow night, spotted spaghetti."

"I've lived among them my entire life, and I can tell you, 'fetch,' 'roll over,' 'sit,' 'stay,' and 'bad dog,' is the extent of their vocabulary."

Most dog-like dog.

'David discovered that the New & Improved Dog Food was more New & Improved than his New & Improved Canned Soup.'

'One thing, however - if they DO bite you, you don't suffer!'

The poodle plague of 1712 crippled France's overpriced dog industry for decades.

The Dog Breeder and His Son

Village Pet Shop.

' I don't care what they do call me, you call me mom.'

"We're expecting quite a litter this time."

"Is that Penny I smell? It's been so long... Hold on, is this Dougie? No way! That crazy mongrel, he is nuts! I remember that time he chased those kids on skateboards all the way down Cliff Street. Wait, is this Rosie?!"

Fauna Hybrids

Dog Show: Most human look.