Canine Crime Aficionados Gifts

"...if my boss likes what he sees in here, you’ll be rolling in treats."

Foster failure

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

Collies Without Borders

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

Stormy weather

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

'Don't make such a fuss woman, he's only a puppy!'

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

"Call me a taxi if I start foaming at the mouth."

'If anybody here knows why these two should not be wed...'

'That's right...he'll lick you to death.'

'Like you, I don't know why they feed us every day, but as long as they do it, I'll stay...'

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

'Where my balls go?'

My client is claiming that you have discriminated against him as a species, that your refusal to let him sniff client's bottoms is against his canine rights and that your policies have acted against him reaching partnership.

"What kind of tomorrow is it? — I don't know, when I wake up, it's already today."

'This article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that.'

'Make it look like an accident.'

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

'Some game dog you are. That's the fifth time in a row you've fallen for the King's Gambit.'

"I know a lot of classmates will say, 'Oh no, not another essay about mailmen.'"

'Ben thought he needed more fiber, so he ate his blanket.'

"I take it you want to go for a perp walk."

Bucket list for dogs.

"Hi, I'm Jamie Theakston and this is Dogs Might Fly."

"I believe this is a case for Sherlock Holmes..."

'What ever happened to that persnickety inspector?'

Bank Robbery Statistics

'We're not following the poodle home.'

"The robber was about 5' 11"...."

'Emotional blackmail.'

"You mean, with that yakerpoop app, you can have a service stop by and puck up your bag of crap?"

"I hate when this happens."