Canine Crime Aficionados Pillows

"...if my boss likes what he sees in here, you’ll be rolling in treats."

Foster failure

Collies Without Borders

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

Stormy weather

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

'That's right...he'll lick you to death.'

'Like you, I don't know why they feed us every day, but as long as they do it, I'll stay...'

"Call me a taxi if I start foaming at the mouth."

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

'Don't make such a fuss woman, he's only a puppy!'

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

'Where my balls go?'

"What kind of tomorrow is it? — I don't know, when I wake up, it's already today."

My client is claiming that you have discriminated against him as a species, that your refusal to let him sniff client's bottoms is against his canine rights and that your policies have acted against him reaching partnership.

'This article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that.'

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

'Make it look like an accident.'

"The robber was about 5' 11"...."

"I take it you want to go for a perp walk."

"I believe this is a case for Sherlock Holmes..."

'What ever happened to that persnickety inspector?'

'Ben thought he needed more fiber, so he ate his blanket.'

Bucket list for dogs.

Bank Robbery Statistics

'We're not following the poodle home.'

"I know a lot of classmates will say, 'Oh no, not another essay about mailmen.'"

"Hi, I'm Jamie Theakston and this is Dogs Might Fly."

'Some game dog you are. That's the fifth time in a row you've fallen for the King's Gambit.'

'Emotional blackmail.'

"I'm going out for beef chow mein - want anything?"

'Brilliant writing, Mr. Fenswick, but I'm afraid we'll have to pass on your 'How to Commit the Perfect Crime'!'

"I hate when this happens."