Quirky Crime Aficionados Pillows

'Taxidermy? Jeepers, I didn't even know that was a crime. How about you guys - what are you in for?'

'I was convicted for embezzling from a sperm bank.'

I can assure everyone that this city is totally committed to apprehending the pants bandit!"

"Puss in cement boots"

Police film evidence

'If anybody here knows why these two should not be wed...'

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

'Make it look like an accident.'

'What ever happened to that persnickety inspector?'

Bank Robbery Statistics

"The robber was about 5' 11"...."

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

"I believe this is a case for Sherlock Holmes..."

'Emotional blackmail.'

'Where was I on the night of the 7th of August? I was home washing my hair.'

"The boss says after this you're gonna have to start flossing for yourself."

"I hate when this happens."

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

Truman Capote

'Brilliant writing, Mr. Fenswick, but I'm afraid we'll have to pass on your 'How to Commit the Perfect Crime'!'

"I'm going out for beef chow mein - want anything?"

The Continuing Adventures of Mel Hufnagel, Corporate Head-Hunter...

"Little Timmy is big enough to use you burglary tools."

'Might as well get comfortable. The appeal process can take forever.'

"My son is a saint - he's always cooperating with the authorities."

Mob Shrink

"Next time you rob a bank, don't stick around to take a bunch of selfies with the money."

"With all due respect, instead of the phrase 'bank robbery,' we request the alleged incident be referred to as an 'Elmore Leonard moment!'"

'I always return to the scene of the crime. Is that normal?'

'Before we go in, try to forget everything you thought you knew about criminal masterminds!'

"OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!"

"OK, how about 'proactively striving for excellence in da rackets game?"

"Gentlemen, our troubles are over, this is Tony 'The Torch' Barbella"

"Where were you five minutes ago when someone was stealing my getaway car?"

'He knew too much!'