Canine Correspondent Gifts

"Thank you for your e-mail. I will be out on a walk for the next twenty minutes and plan on barking remotely until my return."

Press Freedom

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

'I suppose that's where things get ironed out.'

Crooked Hillary... Pig... Sad!... Not a Ten!...

"Janet, please. I'm calling the vet's office to check their lost and found. That's the last place I saw my nuts."

'This article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that.'

ISIS needle in a haystack.

"What should I say this is about?"

'Oh my God, dog biscuits are down!'

"No sense of smell, ears plugged and eyes fixed on their phones. I'm telling you, if I weren't domesticated I'd be all over that."

Sally Jessy Raphael

'A long-awaited government shake-up: A 'ditto-head' will replace a 'yes-man'...A 'croney' will replace an 'insider'...'

Dog's Loo

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

'Peace' in our time.

In Other News, Owls. Owl News Now. Here Owls. Owl Time.

"Sit!"

The press under fire

'War, drought, famine, diseases: Boy I love the news...'

"The good news today is that there is no news."

Nancy Wake -French resistance fighter WW11

'Shame on you! Stop torturing the poor Palestinians, you nazi-like, baby killing war monger!'

Dogs at Dog Show Judging the Judges.

"Don't be fooled, it looks easy but I've yet to meet a dog who's mastered it."

Breaking news

'This one is for being the TV war commentator who didn't blast Rumsfeld.'

'Sorry, guys, but we can't go in until we've got real time media coverage.'

'I don't know, Al... A dumpster in the middle of the woods! Seems kind of fishy to me.'

"Well, then why don't the British just borrow Major Eliot from the Herald Tribune."