Canine Command Wizard T-Shirts

Cruel Pet Tricks

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"He's got no idea how to run a Husky team."

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

'It's okay - he knows how to use the GPS.'

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

Shakespeare's Lost Play: The Taming of the Pooch.

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

'Get up or I'm sending in the cat.'

Dog with Anchor Lead

". . . so, all I really need to do is change one word."

'I do not pamper the dog, now get out of his chair!'

Dog training

'Here comes the 64-bit local bus.'

'Well it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"Making us more mobile friendly didn't mean letting the general public use our car park, Smithers."

"I'm beginning to worry she might work out who is really in charge."

Top dogs IN and OUT trays

Dog walker / Cat walker.

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

The Art of Bantering!

'My app just ate your widget.'

(Overachieving Dog) (Just get me the paper and let Mr. Rather go!)

Error 202: The cursor has left the screen.

'The speaker for tonight's ceremony will be our valedictorian. Speak, boy, speak.'

"Maybe it's just me, Stan, but I keep getting the nagging feeling that your company doesn't place a very high value on information technology."

"Poppy has left the dog kennel. I repeat Poppy has left the dog kennel...Yes, yes, we have a code brown!"

"Sorry, nature calls, I'll be back in five minutes: Suzie, you're in charge..."

Monk & Mandi: "I only obey twice a day."