Canine Command Critic T-Shirts

All my owner says is "Heel, heel, heel" --- And then he wonders why I keep chewing on his shoe!

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

'It's okay - he knows how to use the GPS.'

"He's got no idea how to run a Husky team."

The First Martian Dog.

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

Shakespeare's Lost Play: The Taming of the Pooch.

'Get up or I'm sending in the cat.'

Dog with Anchor Lead

'I do not pamper the dog, now get out of his chair!'

Dog training

'Well it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"I'm beginning to worry she might work out who is really in charge."

"He's our finest service animal."

Top dogs IN and OUT trays

Dog walker / Cat walker.

(Overachieving Dog) (Just get me the paper and let Mr. Rather go!)

'The speaker for tonight's ceremony will be our valedictorian. Speak, boy, speak.'

'I don't know if we should stay there, dear. That kennel only got two stars.'

"Close-order drill! Everybody fall in!"

Cruel Pet Tricks

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

"Sorry, nature calls, I'll be back in five minutes: Suzie, you're in charge..."

Monk & Mandi: "I only obey twice a day."

"Poppy has left the dog kennel. I repeat Poppy has left the dog kennel...Yes, yes, we have a code brown!"

'There's a cat in our yard! Release the hounds!'

Obedience School - Scratch Before Entering.

'That's the last time I trust you to train the dog!'

'I want you to make this company as perfect as it looks in our TV commercial spots.'

"Don't be fooled, it looks easy but I've yet to meet a dog who's mastered it."

'I already have a home security system.'

'Play dead.'