Canine Comedian Appreciator Pillows

"I hate it when he gets all Robin Williamsy."

"Next time make two trips."

'I don't care what you say...I heard him snicker!'

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"No no, I said sit!!"

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

Lactose Intolerant

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"I was almost that last year."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"Say hello to my little friend."

Cat and mouse

No Soliciting

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

His Master's Thesis.

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

Woman leaves dog in rain...he gets into a car to wait in the dry.

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

Dog fetching clown shoes.

"I finally caught you... now what?"

'Oh, oh, a pack of dogs! Stand still amd maybe they won't notice us.'

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

Dogs life