Canine Coaches Gifts

'I was a good dog, but I never took the time to make myself a great dog.'

'Why is it he never understands sit , stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

'So son - to make a long story short, if it moves, bark at it. . . and if it doesn't move, chew on it.'

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

I like the Jets...I guess

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

"No no, I said sit!!"

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Reach for the Star.

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Go! Means NOW!

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

The trauma of losing.

Time Is Money

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

Back to school.

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

A married couple share the same pole vault.

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'