Canine Career Coach Gifts

Dog Training For The Ninties

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

Others will fight for you

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"No no, I said sit!!"

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

Work/Life Balance

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"I hate performance review season."

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'It's okay - he knows how to use the GPS.'

'When I was young, I said I'd make it big or know the reason why - Well, I sure know the reason why!'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

The First Martian Dog.

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

"He's got no idea how to run a Husky team."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

'Perkins, we're getting rid of some of the dead wood around here.'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'