Canine Chum Pillows

"Could you read me a dog-food label before bedtime?"

'That was fun!'

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

"Bad dog."

Text Culture

"Oooooh....a western wear dog cone. Sexy!"

"I have spirit, yes I do. I have spirit, how 'bout you?"

'I'll bet you taught him that!'

"It's nice to be wanted."

'How many times have I told you to stay out of the cemetery?'

"Well I got a dog because I wanted to spend more time brushing hair off my clothes, and picking up poop."

'No, Mrs. Dudley! If there's a bone in a chair, that means it's reserved for Marmaduke!'

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

Friendship.

That's what I call a well trained dog!!

'You sure picked a great place to have kittens.'

"Don't think of them as fleas. Think of them as your entourage!"

'Quick! 'Tushy to the ground' stance!'

"Remember... the cork. You're supposed to smell the cork!"

Hang Time Fido

Man reacts to being goosed. Caption: The secret work of Doberman Pinschers

'We're like the canine unit, only tougher. Instead of dogs we use big, bad wolves.'

"I think the dog want's to stay in tonight, Jennifer!"

'I like you, you've got balls.'

"You know, during these debates there's something that all too often gets ignored."

Spot's favorite game is "hard to pet".

Dog, dressed as vet, is about to give cat lethal injection. Cat owner says: 'Terminal? I hope you don't mind if I get a second opinion.'

Coming out as a Conversationalist.

"...Perhaps he's detecting a ghostly presence. . !!"

Eventually, many dogs and dog owners begin to look alike

"Wait - you get excited when the humans come hom? Dude, you've been watching too many dog shows."

"I'm working on finding a healthier alternative to sniffing butts."

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'

"It's a mug's game!"

"My master got my new tags. Now I've got collar ID!"