Canine Chums Pillows

"Wait - you get excited when the humans come hom? Dude, you've been watching too many dog shows."

Playing Fetch.

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Foster failure"

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

'That was fun!'

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Is this any way to treat 'Man's best friend'?"

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

'He barks when he sees the boss coming.'

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

Hush puppy.

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

A man and his dog

"Bad dog."

"I'm working from home today."

Text Culture

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

'You're not supposed to catch them!'

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."