Canine Behavior Analyzer Pillows

'Mmm... Thought so...Sagittarius right?'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

"Suddenly, you’re a fan of New England stone work?"

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

'It's almost as if they knew!'

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

The life of penguins.

"Teach me not to care."

"It's not so much the chewing that offends me, it's the mocking of our voices."

Hyenas as Pets

"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."

The revenge of Russell

"I have to give you credit. You're a pit bull and you're nice on and offline."

'I said point, not poke!'

"Fuhgettaboutit, Charley. Ya been fixed."

Dog History

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."

"I'm afraid this whole experiment is about to go south."

FISH ESCAPE.

I bark and bark and bark. . . Therefore I am.

A Cat about to smash into a Goldfish Aquarium for a meal.

"Bad dog!"

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

"They say this will keep us up all night like that's a bad thing."

"Looks like Bob is leading the flock again!"