Candy Avoider Gifts

"Well, my wife is lactose-maltose-dextrose-sucrose-cellulose intolerant, which means I can't even hand her an empty box of candy."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Revenge of the Jelly Mother.

An historic event in Candyland: When M met M

'Take two tootsie rolls and call me in the morning.'

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

"Dessert?""No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"Halloween is the perfect time to land on Earth. Nobody will notice us and we can get free candy."

'Of course it's safe. It has no preservatives, no additives, no artificial coloring...'

'Guess how many I ATE.'

"The best thing about this, is the lovely honeycomb centre."

'You've got to help me, Doc! I've got a crush on St. Valentine all Year!!'

"Since you're going to the dentist, I bought you a giant lollipop to go out in style."

'I told that boy no snacks before dinner, , ,'

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

'What can you get with a quarter?'

"Don't take the ones with teeth marks. They've got hard centres ."

Easter Candy Island.

It was a pretty vicious attack. He's lost a lot of candy.

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

Whale Piñata.

'Try one - they're crunchy on the outside with a chewy centre.'

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

'No, you can't have a stick of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerrychwrudobwllanstisiliogogogoch rock. I'll get you on in Rhyl.'

'See, Dad. I told you these gummy worms would work.'

"In a move sure to revolutionize the industry, Lincoln Middle School is using Halloween candy energy levels to offset costs in November, December and January."

'Never accept the first offer, always hold out for more.'

"I'm not going to try and sugarcoat this..."

'Imagine that in gummi!'

'There's no mention of stuffing. Keep going until you get to the sugar and spice.'

How Piñatas Are Born

Piñata Walk