Candy Avoider T-Shirts

"Well, my wife is lactose-maltose-dextrose-sucrose-cellulose intolerant, which means I can't even hand her an empty box of candy."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Revenge of the Jelly Mother.

An historic event in Candyland: When M met M

'Take two tootsie rolls and call me in the morning.'

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

"Halloween is the perfect time to land on Earth. Nobody will notice us and we can get free candy."

"Dessert?""No thanks, I'm stuffed."

'Of course it's safe. It has no preservatives, no additives, no artificial coloring...'

"The best thing about this, is the lovely honeycomb centre."

'You've got to help me, Doc! I've got a crush on St. Valentine all Year!!'

'Guess how many I ATE.'

"Since you're going to the dentist, I bought you a giant lollipop to go out in style."

'I told that boy no snacks before dinner, , ,'

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

'What can you get with a quarter?'

"Don't take the ones with teeth marks. They've got hard centres ."

It was a pretty vicious attack. He's lost a lot of candy.

'Try one - they're crunchy on the outside with a chewy centre.'

'No, you can't have a stick of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerrychwrudobwllanstisiliogogogoch rock. I'll get you on in Rhyl.'

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

Whale Piñata.

'See, Dad. I told you these gummy worms would work.'

"In a move sure to revolutionize the industry, Lincoln Middle School is using Halloween candy energy levels to offset costs in November, December and January."

Piñata Walk

'Never accept the first offer, always hold out for more.'

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

"I love this ghost costume because it covers this costume. I remove it and go back for seconds!"

How Piñatas Are Born