Candid Conversations Pillows

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

Very Difficult Conversations

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

Correct Comics *Drawn By A Vegetarian On Acid-Free Recycled Paper In A Drug-Free Environment

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"How about a hand."

Dialogue

"...and those are my deepest, most intimate feelings about our friendship."

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

"Of course, that's just my opinion. If you want my professional opinion it will cost you."

'Who's a pretty boy! Is that all you've got to say?'

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

'The trouble with Nigel is that he's so changeable. One minute I love him and the next minute I loathe him.'

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

Young girl asks young boy what time he wakes in the morning

Papa, how come Rudolph has a red nose? Because he's a drunk, son. Plain and simple.

A lesson in wit

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

Candor is the Best Policy

"Oh, that reminds me of this article I barely remember."

I'm beginning to regret the hearing aids.

"It was a typical 'His lawyer said/Her lawyer said' situation."

"The first week back is always the hardest"

"You might be poor and ugly but you're the only one who didn't blather about politics and climate change after ten minutes. What's your name? Marry me!"

"The only thing that still works well for me is hysteria."

"I find it a very good conversation starter."

'Sorry, what was that?'

'Last night Gary put me in an impossible position.'

'Is it just me, or is it REALLY temperate in here?'

'And what do you do for a living Gary?' 'I'm a Puppeteer.'