Cancer Survivor Anniversary Gifts

"Our war is against cancer."

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

Pearly King and Queen

Thanks to therapy, Bob no longer felt like a nobody. He felt like an anybody.

Say balls to testicular cancer, remember to check your crown jewels regularly.

"Hoora! I made it through another day!"

"OK, now what?"

Female chemotherapy warrior.

"'CPD'...stuff and nonsense, the old ways are fine for me, now pass me a hammer. I need to put this patient out!"

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

"Face it, Tim, that cute little Pet Rock you bought in 1976 is now a full-grown boulder - it's time to set him free!"

'Nurse! With this chemo cocktail, get me some mixed nuts and pretzels!'

Flo discovered that one perk of cancer is that people treat her like a queen.

"Jack, I'm looking through these old love letters, faded flowers and other sentimental objects meant to inspire tender memories… junk?"

"We're celebrating our 25th anniversary, so separate checks."

"As long as we're renewing our vows anyway, I've come up with a few new ones."

"Well, put it this way - A semi-colon is better than a full stop."

"Bad news: all those pink NFL uniforms don't actually cure breast cancer."

"This is where the party budget ran out."

'You told me you'd spend your whole life trying to make me happy.' 'I didn't expect to live this long.'

"Good news, Mrs. Bryant - I think we got it all."

Pole Dancing on the Chemo Ward.

'You remembered our anniversary!'

'This is the 1927 Georges de Latour you bought us for our anniversary, son. Mom spruced it up nicely with orange soda and melon balls.'

"It wasn't until after fifty years of marriage that Mike finally learned the importance of putting the seat down." "Happy anniversary. Now flush."

"Thirty years together and now you tell me you're Canadian?"

'Thanks for not letting cancer define who you are.'

'The sixties? Well, you don't sleep as well, can't read anything closer than three feet away and your short-term memory's shot.'

Ladies in pink, thank you.

'...gone! The remains of the iceberg that sank the Titanic, to...'

Uncle Mort, I've been at this cafe for 20 years. It's my anniversary. So you're still employed? Yeah, I mean, yeah, of course you know tha … No thanks to greedy corporate interests! They've moved jobs and cash offshore, avoided paying taxes, spurred public policy that destroys the middle class! My anniversary gift: Your spit. I yell because I care.

Mournapalooza

'If he's forgotten my birthday again, he can cook his own supper!'

"This Thanksgiving, we're going to serve whatever we can get from the food bank."

Gift Suggestions for Post-Diamond Wedding Anniversaries