Campfire Song Collector T-Shirts

"I used to like to sing... but it was mostly with the Glee club."

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

"This is a tune about going off the grid and getting back to nature."

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

'The Torch Holder'.

"Okay lets go. You can message your friends after dinner."

'Rubbing sticks together was a great idea. After 40 minutes, I'm so warm I don't need a fire!'

Campground Conductor

Have food. Need toilet paper

"Hey! I was trained in 1948 and was good enough for then, so it's good enough for now....whipper-snapper!"

'This will teach them to clean up after themselves after they camp in our woods!'

Boy makes a finger shadow on the tent.

'Come on kids - it's just a story!'

My Musical Influences

"I'll make a deal with you! If you stop singing Row, Row, Row Your Boat, I'll help you finish your requirements!"

"What do you think? Would flaming marshmallows make good torches?"

"Sssh! - Did you hear a noise??"

Prehistoric Pop-Up Books Club

"I couldn't make a fire, but after rubbing sticks so long, I'm not cold anymore!"

Accountants around the campfire.

Bull chasing campers, "You and your camping holidays for fresh air and excersize!"

'Sorry, absolutely no Bach packers!'

"When we left off last night, we were on page 15 of the National Intelligence Estimate. "

"We've decided to try role-swapping."

"Once we get the hang of this let's never come back here again."

Zombie Camping Menu Planning

'No chocolate?! What kind of place has no chocolate?'

"I don't know about you, but I'm attracted to both of them."

Bear: 'Oh YUM, Burritos!'

The army surplus blanket is great! I never thought you'd be engaged in a government cover-up.

'No. This is our top-of-the-line lightweight hiking tent. It's meant to be tight.

'I see Mr. Invention is at it again -- we'd better start holding regular fire drills.'

'Meat again! That's the last dinosaur I kill.'