Campfire Conductor T-Shirts

Campground Conductor

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

"Okay lets go. You can message your friends after dinner."

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

"This one's really scary. It's about what's happening to my 401k."

'An no one heard him scream when they screwed on the pump and slowly drained all his vital fluids...'

Have food. Need toilet paper

"I wonder if this will count for wood carving badge?"

Boy makes a finger shadow on the tent.

'Come on kids - it's just a story!'

'This will teach them to clean up after themselves after they camp in our woods!'

My Musical Influences

"I'll make a deal with you! If you stop singing Row, Row, Row Your Boat, I'll help you finish your requirements!"

Accountants around the campfire.

"What do you think? Would flaming marshmallows make good torches?"

"And that's how Twitter almost crashed the Dow."

"There's only two things that really fascinate men. One is fire and the other one isn't."

"We've decided to try role-swapping."

'No. This is our top-of-the-line lightweight hiking tent. It's meant to be tight.

Early 3D home entertainment systems.

Bull chasing campers, "You and your camping holidays for fresh air and excersize!"

"When we left off last night, we were on page 15 of the National Intelligence Estimate. "

Zombie Camping Menu Planning

Bear: 'Oh YUM, Burritos!'

Melting snowman roasting marshmallow on open fire.

'I see Mr. Invention is at it again -- we'd better start holding regular fire drills.'

'Meat again! That's the last dinosaur I kill.'

'So what if Tex is sitting on your log? Pick out a new one!'

"Would any of you guys be offended if I told a joke that is a touch prurient?"