Campaigning Pillows

"We used to feel your pain, but that's no longer our policy."

'Psst! Wanna Buy A Democracy?'

'So, can I put you down as undecided?'

Wilson: The Appearance of Integrity

"Listen, pal! I didn't spend seven million bucks to get here so I could yield the floor to you."

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

"We may need a clearer message."

'Please wait here to be unseated.'

"I may be awhile. I'm soliciting funds for my reëlection campaign."

"Attack of the political signs!"

'We love the environment - we go there every summer.'

'My greatest asset is I'm so rich, I can't be bought by any interest group.'

'I agree with your position completely; you can count on my support.'

'It's really nice up here, but I miss all the negative political ads.'

'My greatest asset is I'm so rich, I can't be bought by any interest group.'

'Let me not answer your question this way...'

"I know you're angry at me - I'm angry at me, too!"

Big Sky Country

'The press is calling you overconfident. Stop using ‘Hail To The Chief' as your ringtone.'

"Give me moderation or give me death!"

'I'd like to respond to that criticism by saying that I'm rubber, and you're glue.'

Sally, Jim - you'll handle daily speech writing. Vince, as usual, will be in charge of attack ads.'

'Who did you vote against in the last election?'

"I appreciate the new campaign finance laws, but I miss the thrill of getting around the old ones."

"Do you take dark money?"

"I refuse to discuss my selfless passion for public service until my hair, makeup and lighting are perfect."

No Electioneering Beyond this Point

I want to be a politician when I grow up...

Caution, lobbyists ahead.

Presidential candidate bandwagon.

'If only every year was an election year.'

Jerry Brown.

'This won't take long, Senator -- I'm a single-issue nut.'

"This campaign will address the public perception of rabbit holes."

'Under my health plan, alternative medicine, including placebos and hypochondria remedies will be covered.'