Campaign Management Pillows

"Peggy, can we find someone to misuse a few of these campaign funds for a run to the deli to get us some lunch?"

'A spin doctor just isn't enough any more, Senator - you need a choreographer.'

"Good boy."

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

National Everything Awareness Day

'If only every year was an election year.'

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

Political convention

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

An informed voter is a good voter

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

The Russian Election.

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

Elections

Save the unicorn.

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

'Son, voting isn't a rational procedure by which one strategically selects an electable candidate who will best serve your interests. Voting is an emotional response to your gut level fears!'

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).

'What's the difference? Some people call it privatizing government. Others call it super pacs buying congressmen.'

I want to be a politician when I grow up...

The following is a paid political announcement.

"Killer performance, but let's get back to the dog and pony show."

America's funniest election gaffes

'For five years you can't get a single politician to take any notice of you...and then half a dozen turn up at once!'

'Confusing, dangerous times call for confusing, dangerous leadership!'

"I want something in which to vote for Mrs. Luce."