Campaign Trail Veteran Pillows

Voters tired of campaign literature and signage.

"Your poll numbers look good, Senator. You fooled 45% of the people 55% of the the time."

Political convention

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

David Bellamy

Taking Back The Government.

Cruz and Fiorina: DetesTED and DetestETTE

'It's not my job to worry about the 47% of Americans who are irresponsible. Wait I didn't state that very elegantly. It's not my job to worry about the 47% of Americans who are irresponsible.'

'Oh, we could reduce the deficit, but it'd just leave stretch marks.'

Donald Trump

'Well, at least he's an honest politician.'

'Remember when the worry was over little swift boat attacks?'

VOTE, 'I'll never lie to you, and this time I mean it!'

Tony Blair

"Good news-- people are no longer calling your campaign quixotic."

'The Senator's afraid he's irked his base. I don't know if he needs political advice or medical attention.'

'I haven't been campaigning for a creche all these years for nothing - you're going!'

Obama TV Commercial

"The last thing that I intend to do is to stand here making a display of my patriotism."

Stephen Harper on the attack ads.

'It's my job to teach you to grin like ike, and damnit, you will grin like ike!'

"If reelected, this time, I promise not to procrastinate for four years and then try to get all my governing done in one epic all-nighter."

VOTE!, 'If elected, I'll sponsor legislation for a $10 billion study of Government hypocrisy!'

"Hi from the US Supreme Court conservative majority...we hope you're all enjoying this campaign season!"

'This won't take long, Senator -- I'm a single-issue nut.'

Election UK Leaders' Big Debate.

'I still love you, Harold, but I'm moving to another state and running for the Senate.'

Race to the presidency.

'The press is calling you overconfident. Stop using ‘Hail To The Chief' as your ringtone.'

"We all know the Senator's position regarding term limits."

'Not only have I never been a Congressman, but I've never even set foot in Washington!'

"It's a seasonal thing....Like the first gritters of the winter and the first cuckoo of spring!"