Campaign Trail Veteran Gifts

Voters tired of campaign literature and signage.

"Your poll numbers look good, Senator. You fooled 45% of the people 55% of the the time."

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

Political convention

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

David Bellamy

Running for Congress

Taking Back The Government.

'It's not my job to worry about the 47% of Americans who are irresponsible. Wait I didn't state that very elegantly. It's not my job to worry about the 47% of Americans who are irresponsible.'

'Remember when the worry was over little swift boat attacks?'

Tony Blair

'Oh, we could reduce the deficit, but it'd just leave stretch marks.'

Cruz and Fiorina: DetesTED and DetestETTE

Donald Trump

VOTE, 'I'll never lie to you, and this time I mean it!'

'Well, at least he's an honest politician.'

"The last thing that I intend to do is to stand here making a display of my patriotism."

"If reelected, this time, I promise not to procrastinate for four years and then try to get all my governing done in one epic all-nighter."

"Hi from the US Supreme Court conservative majority...we hope you're all enjoying this campaign season!"

'I haven't been campaigning for a creche all these years for nothing - you're going!'

Race to the presidency.

Vote Smith. That guy is a perpetual candidate - He's always running for something. He has a "promising" career!

Election UK Leaders' Big Debate.

Obama TV Commercial

'This won't take long, Senator -- I'm a single-issue nut.'

"Good news-- people are no longer calling your campaign quixotic."

'It's my job to teach you to grin like ike, and damnit, you will grin like ike!'

'I still love you, Harold, but I'm moving to another state and running for the Senate.'

'The Senator's afraid he's irked his base. I don't know if he needs political advice or medical attention.'

Stephen Harper on the attack ads.

VOTE!, 'If elected, I'll sponsor legislation for a $10 billion study of Government hypocrisy!'

'The press is calling you overconfident. Stop using ‘Hail To The Chief' as your ringtone.'

"We all know the Senator's position regarding term limits."