Campaign Trail Traveler Gifts

"Senator, you've got to keep a straight face or they might start to catch on."

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

'Oh, we could reduce the deficit, but it'd just leave stretch marks.'

Donald Trump

Tony Blair

'It's not my job to worry about the 47% of Americans who are irresponsible. Wait I didn't state that very elegantly. It's not my job to worry about the 47% of Americans who are irresponsible.'

Cruz and Fiorina: DetesTED and DetestETTE

'Remember when the worry was over little swift boat attacks?'

VOTE!, 'If elected, I'll sponsor legislation for a $10 billion study of Government hypocrisy!'

"The last thing that I intend to do is to stand here making a display of my patriotism."

Stephen Harper on the attack ads.

Race to the presidency.

"If reelected, this time, I promise not to procrastinate for four years and then try to get all my governing done in one epic all-nighter."

"Hi from the US Supreme Court conservative majority...we hope you're all enjoying this campaign season!"

'It's my job to teach you to grin like ike, and damnit, you will grin like ike!'

'The press is calling you overconfident. Stop using ‘Hail To The Chief' as your ringtone.'

"We all know the Senator's position regarding term limits."

'Not only have I never been a Congressman, but I've never even set foot in Washington!'

'Well, I see that Senator Zwecklos has found a loophole in the Campaign Finance law.'

"Don't forget now. Don't knock 'those people in Washington' anymore. Those people in Washington are now you!!"

'Yes, I broke that campaign promise, but it was never NOTARIZED!'

TRUMP

"Dad has promised that if he becomes President, we'll get a dog."

"None of the candidates - not one - talks about health insurance for use."

You're suffering from pre-election fever brought on by competing promises.

"The Blueberry Bagel, having triumphed on the East Coast, heads West."

Trumpelstiltskin: "I can spin straw into gold."

Campaign 2010.

"Slogan."

"Oh, my mother's learned a lot from this campaign. She sends me five robocalls a day."

'There's a democracy in here somewhere...'

Requiem for Progressives