Campaign Savant Gifts

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

National Everything Awareness Day

Bullseye!

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

'Stay with me now, people, because in Step C, things get a bit delicate.'

Decision Making Block

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

Despite the economic downturn, sales are as good as ever.

"I sense a lot more going on with you than 'house-husband."

'Sell South Africa!'

'Henry, I'm here to trim back your budget.'

Save the termites.

'I say we try it.'

Rudy, I've noticed your upsells have fallen drastically over the last 16 years. More and more, you just give customers what they ask for instead of pushing them to buy a larger cup, an extra cookie, or a 3-minute bathroom pass. That is unacceptable. So I've signed you up for my mandatory "How to Upsell" course and ordered you the reading material. Tuition fees will be deducted from your check. As your first lesson, I've upgraded you from the 2-week course to the 15-day one for just $50 extra. Ve

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'

"We don't believe in miracles. We rely on them."

The company's marketing strategy became increasingly sophisticated.

"That 'give it away free' strategy certainly worked well."

American Roulette

'Remember when the worry was over little swift boat attacks?'

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

Tony Blair

'My client would like to enter a plea of inanity.'

"It had an interesting emotional arc and some nice plot twists, but the heroine and subsidiary characters were unconvincing within the historical context."

'Let's make it cutting edge...with a traditional feel.'

Game Addiction

Two steps backwards-one step forward.

'Narrow my options down to the good, the bad, and the ugly.'