Campaign Kickoff Pillows

Bernie Sanders

"Good boy."

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

National Everything Awareness Day

Create some buzz!

'If only every year was an election year.'

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

Save the unicorn.

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

"We had a brainstorm - I hope it's a brainchild."

I want to be a politician when I grow up...

Man transplants plant in his garden.

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

An American flag being hung by Trump's tie

"Killer performance, but let's get back to the dog and pony show."

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

'For five years you can't get a single politician to take any notice of you...and then half a dozen turn up at once!'

'Can you fetch all of these but leave these others alone?'

'Psst! Wanna Buy A Democracy?'

"Do you take dark money?"

Jerry Brown.

"I know it's tough to get motivated on Mondays, but..."

Distraction.

"He's 'getting the grill ready for summer,' which means he's washing out the beer cooler."

'Vote for me because my Super PAC raised lots more money than my opponent's Super PAC.'

'Sure, but think what a crook I'd be without hypocrisy!'

Pollster

Dark money donor