Campaign Period Pillows

'I'm not saying I'm honest -- I'm saying that I'm afraid of getting caught!'

"Good boy."

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

National Everything Awareness Day

'If only every year was an election year.'

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

Political convention

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

The Russian Election.

Save the unicorn.

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

'Son, voting isn't a rational procedure by which one strategically selects an electable candidate who will best serve your interests. Voting is an emotional response to your gut level fears!'

'The only cuts we can all agree with are their cutting remarks!'

'What's the difference? Some people call it privatizing government. Others call it super pacs buying congressmen.'

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

Netanyahu versus Gantz

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

Why should I take you home instead of your friend? (Republican and Democrat).

'That's correct Shaun. The government is comprised of 5 branches...the executive, legislative, judicial, lobbyist and media.'

I want to be a politician when I grow up...

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

America's funniest election gaffes

"Killer performance, but let's get back to the dog and pony show."

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP