Campaign Guru Pillows

"I hope you're not planning to run for political office in the future."

To Stephen from Mabel

Now I'd like to depart from my prepared text and speak from the heart...

'Whatever happened to 'the house always wins'?'

"Good boy."

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"

'If only every year was an election year.'

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

Target your customer.

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

'It's settled then. Your people will meet with my people if they ever get me any people.'

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

Bob thinks his new neighbor may be bad for business.

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

'The client has asked that you please stop referring to the product as, 'Crappy Crap Crap.'

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

A close shave on the Titanic...

Women's sportswear - Sale on paradigm shifts.

With no clear winner, the debate ended in a tie breaker.

'The candidates campaign promises have been re-named campaign ideas to avoid lawsuits.'

"Remember, Mort: Courage isn't the absence of fear. Courage is remaining media-savvy in the face of fear!"

"Just being proactive."

"Maybe we'd do better if we called ourselves 'baristas'."

"With great power comes great reward."

Political Issues

'My problem is that I am an informed citizen.'

"Okay, let me come at this question a different way: Does anybody here actually know how to sell anything?"

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

"This new policy of resisting change is certainly innovative."

'I think scroll sounds better than 'continuous media,''

'We're really just a mom and pop store...if mom and pop had 600,000 employees.'