Camp Cuisine Critic Gifts

"If you like it now imagine how good it will be when it's cooked!"

Camp Menu - What Adults like verses what Scouts Like

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

View to the Future

"Alright! Whoa! Yes! More boiled food!"

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"Is the MSG local?"

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

Too much cilantro

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Countervailing Clichés.

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"No, my consomme was perfect, but my husbands calamari is a little underdone."

"We've both made mistakes, Doug, but I consider the appetizers to be a thing of the past."

'Someone's been tampering with this chicken. It tastes like chicken.'

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"