Camo Aficionado Pillows

The World's best Camouflage Store.

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

Back to school.

"I believe I have just reached a whole new level of cozy."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

'I put that the pilgrims ate Butterball Turkey, Stove Top Stuffing, and Mrs. Smith's Pie. Think she'll give extra credit for brand names?'

'You called me out of the blue... Cobalt, ultramarine, prussian, cerulean or phthalocyanine?'

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

'Don't take this the wrong way, Honey, but not only have I decided to hibernate this year, but I want to hibernate in the spare room...'

The latest in Eyewear.

"We’d like a quiet table for two where my wife can justify spending three grand for a handbag."

Pea green

Cast away in a life raft with Dr. Phil.

"Would you mind getting me the Ambien, the Tiger Balm, three cookies, a cup of tea and a pillow for my legs?"

"Introducing the Schultzaccino. Neither tea nor coffee."

'Slugger' Sims...Leader in: Home Runs, RBIs, Endorsement Deals.

An Eskimo sits in a melting igloo, as a central heating van drives away.

"I just got a Trump alert with my discount code off my next purchase of Trump baseball caps."

"I knew Heaven would be by Chanel."

"I'm so sorry, there is nothing I can do for him anymore...he must have been offline for at least 10 hours..."

'I prefer Brand X myself.'

"Tammy's Style Shop went on a selling spree."

'Ahh, but it's a Dyson saltshaker.'

Party Party!

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."

"These are my true colors and I don't care who know it!"

'I embrace diversity. Some of my friends use Androids, some have iPhones, and others use Blackberries.'

"I know they're expensive, Evelyn, but like the saying goes...If the Jimmy Choos fit, wear them!"

Lady having her hair dyed

Internet Dude

"It's so drapey—should I get something with a crisper line?"

'Some more great camouflage of the insect world.'

Galen Weston jr. comes clean.

Reindeer hiding from hunter

'I actually find my Ghillie Suit a better camouflage option than my stripes...'