Camera Shy Warrior Gifts

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

'Ahh...now there's a man who understands women.'

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

'He's under office-arrest.'

Me when by BDD shows up

"How do I turn off my camera so no one stares?"

"She's in her happy place again."

Health warning - This job will lead you to drink.

"Oh, I'm okay. This is just my resting zoom face."

"That's what I like about you Smedley - you're not afraid to show fear!"

"Do my glutes look big in these?"

"I'll be walking by your door in a second if you want to try to get my attention."

"Maybe you should ask yourself why you're inviting all this duck hunting into your life right now."

'I hope that's olive oil. More healthy.'

Healthy Ultimatum

Complaints: 'Yes?'

The anti-social network: 'In other words, you want to help the internet blow itself up.'

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I ask you - does this suit make me look fat?"

This week, House Manager Blowviatt has been asked to avoid the appearance of playing to the cameras.

"No thanks! My dad said those things will kill you!"

'You're lucky. Some people don't look good wearing dirt.'

Candies and diet pills

'We should look our best since hidden cameras will photograph us wherever we go.'

Resisting the Virus

Watchdog Maddoff Type Fraud Schemes.

"Please scream inside your heart"

Woman stands on scales which have two categories: Too Skinny / Too Fat.

"Management recognizes that the industry has a responsibility to take steps to challenge climate change. . ."

'I don't go outside much since I gave up smoking. I associate it too much with having a ciggie.'

'It appears that Medical Science has turned down the offer of my body.'

'I got one for each of us, It magnifies the food and tricks your brain into thinking you're full!'

No smoking graveyard.

"You hear it here, Liz: If I get through this torture today I swear I'll never give my kids another test."

'I know you're listening to me Jimmy...I can hear you grinding your teeth.'