Calorie Conundrum Chaser Pillows

Advent fridge

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

All Natural Nothing

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

Running Latte

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it!'

Hot dog.

Woman in Restaurant has Menu and Calorie Counter.

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

'If you feel guilty, I can put our high fat vanilla ice cream in one of our low fat cups.'

"We shouldn't have sugar, wine, beer, cake...we may not live longer but it sure will feel as if we do!"

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do count against your diet.

I burned 3200 more calories yesterday than I consumed!!! You went for a long run? No. Oh. Well you must've followed my usual regimen: cross-fit, a few hours of weights … followed by several hours of evading jealous boyfriends. I forgot to enter the calories I consumed into my fitness app. You'd be surprised how many calories you burn evading buckshot.

Next Coffee Shop 4M

"I'm back for my booster."

'Of course on this new diet, I only count the calories of the food I eat whilst other people are in the room.'

"My scale certainly has no problem finding those hidden calories."

'Now class, let's not condemn the private practitioner who first saw this case and failed to make an obvious diagnosis."

"Before you run a marathon maybe you should start with 50 yards?" Set acheivable targets.

'Enough with the eye of newt. Do you know how many calories there are in newt eyes?'

"The diet section is located next to the snack bar."

Innovate - man boobs and gut bra.

"...And a 'Death by Chocolate' for Madame..."

"The figure to the right is the number of crunches you'll need to do to work off the gut that meal will give you."

'Just as I suspected - cheating on our diet!'

"Welcome to Smart Eating Weight Loss. We've changed our menu options... have you?"

"I'm sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if I could borrow a little work?"

"Do you have such a thing as low calorie caramel coffee creams?"

Chocolate Weight Watcher.

'Don't be tempted, Mrs. Gruber, just mail those apple fritters right here to me!'

'Quick! Go! Now's your chance! Run!!'