Calorie Chaser Pillows

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

Early Exercise Machines

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

Running Latte

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

'Then one day Ralph decided there isn't anything more important than money, and became a day trader.'

'What about the cholesterol?'

Athlete being chased by a dog.

Man on motorbike.

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

'Today, interest rates rose on news that general fear is up, so why not raise interests rates too?'

The scourge of the 'burbs, cable pirates board another innocent hom in their unceasing search for that one extra channel, the occasional first-run movie, or the highly-prized pay-per-view sports events..

'If you feel guilty, I can put our high fat vanilla ice cream in one of our low fat cups.'

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do count against your diet.

'It's no use ... I'll never catch anyone. I can't even catch my breath.'

"I'm back for my booster."

Cross Channel Leap

Next Coffee Shop 4M

"Before you run a marathon maybe you should start with 50 yards?" Set acheivable targets.

Woman inspiring herself by chasing after a sign that says 'Size 2'.

"No more getting up and having to go to the kitchen for a midnight snack."

Advent fridge

Mortgage Hopping.

"...And a 'Death by Chocolate' for Madame..."

Aging Researchers

"I'm sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if I could borrow a little work?"

Time getting away