Calorie Chaser Gifts

Hot dog.

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

Running Latte

Early Exercise Machines

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'Then one day Ralph decided there isn't anything more important than money, and became a day trader.'

'What about the cholesterol?'

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

Man on motorbike.

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

Athlete being chased by a dog.

'Today, interest rates rose on news that general fear is up, so why not raise interests rates too?'

'It's no use ... I'll never catch anyone. I can't even catch my breath.'

The scourge of the 'burbs, cable pirates board another innocent hom in their unceasing search for that one extra channel, the occasional first-run movie, or the highly-prized pay-per-view sports events..

'My video screen just changed to the Daytona 500.'

'If you feel guilty, I can put our high fat vanilla ice cream in one of our low fat cups.'

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do count against your diet.

"I'm back for my booster."

Cross Channel Leap

I burned 3200 more calories yesterday than I consumed!!! You went for a long run? No. Oh. Well you must've followed my usual regimen: cross-fit, a few hours of weights … followed by several hours of evading jealous boyfriends. I forgot to enter the calories I consumed into my fitness app. You'd be surprised how many calories you burn evading buckshot.

Metaphor for Life Gym. Which will it be? Running in place or spinning your wheels?

Next Coffee Shop 4M

"Before you run a marathon maybe you should start with 50 yards?" Set acheivable targets.

Woman inspiring herself by chasing after a sign that says 'Size 2'.

"No more getting up and having to go to the kitchen for a midnight snack."

"...And a 'Death by Chocolate' for Madame..."

Advent fridge

Mortgage Hopping.

Aging Researchers

"I'm sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if I could borrow a little work?"