Calorie Calculus Genius Gifts

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

'If your calculations are correct, this completely revolutionizes everything we thought we knew about why chalk squeaks on a blackboard!'

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

"Have you been working out?"

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

"We feel you're over analyzing things a bit too much."

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'

"Sit and stay were no problem but she's hit a wall with multivariable calculus.'

"Here's your dessert. A guilt counselor iss standing by to help you once you calculate how many calories you've consumed."

'None of the questions deserved an answer.'

"And what would you like to regret later?"

The Math Institute √π*962.9 KM

'I told you you were missing a decimal point in you dynamite calculations.'

"I see a flaw in your financial calculation."

(Pi) 5 8. You can trust him to keep a secret --- He's non-repeating.

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

'I march to a different arithmetic.'

'Let me have 20% fat, 40% carbohydrate, 40% protein and a cup of tea,'

"Be rational."

"We're not dividing the bill. We're dividing the calories. Two people had cheesecake..."

'You were right. I had a misplaced decimal point.'

I use spell check for all the answers on my math story problems.

'Wow, Professor Jones, that's an impressive back-of-the-envelope calculation!'

"It shouldn't happen this way. I'll have to alter the data."

'Of course on this new diet, I only count the calories of the food I eat whilst other people are in the room.'

"Well you did say you wanted something gluten, sugar, fat, additives and calorie free."

'Bananas...two ears...1.4 billion Chinese...you do the math!'

'You haven't tried this? It's sensational with math homework.'

"My scale certainly has no problem finding those hidden calories."

ACcountants Lunch

Watch Salesman