Calm Strategist T-Shirts

"We always take one piece out."

'If you can keep your head while all about are losing theirs...'

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

'Let's go! Let's go! Hustle! ...Relatively speaking.'

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'

'Oh, I HATE IT when he does that thing with his mouth...TALKING!'

'No, Bob, I haven't noticed you haven't spoken to me in 3 days... I just thought we were getting along.'

'It's a silent protest.'

'You should have seen me sooner, Mr. Fenswick.'

"Your blood pressure is too high. Take two of these."

"We're making progress."

Workaholics anonymous open all day every day.

Becalmed yachts

The night before the big meeting Frank receives a visit from the PowerPoint Fairy

"I'm incredibly happy - must be the medication speaking."

'Taking the anger management class has made you uncharacteristically nice, sir.'

'Remember, son. A winner is one who can keep his head while all around him are losing theirs.'

'Let's put it on the back burner for now. Give us both a chance to cool down.'

Cat Trap,

Bear bends hunter's guns.

"Wel...come...to...my...zoom...meet...ing..."

"Oh, you mellow with age alright: I even like the postman now..."

The team leader conserved energy at odd moments.

"Now, now, let's try using our NPR voice."

'No kidding? You're the bluebird of mutually assured destruction deterrants?'

Think: Everyone's out to get me.

Office talk: 'I deal with stress management the easy way, I let management get stressed while I take it easy!'

Dealing with Change.

"It's great, Heidi! All the privacy I want without locking the door...And they probably won't figure it out until I'm in college!"

Don't sweat the small stuff

"...The sun sank slowly in the west. Time slowed down to a crawl, and there was no reason to hurry. The tortoise knew he had time to kill. Haste makes waste, he thought..."

'Oh, I'm reasonably ambitious about my military career, sir, but I don't want to set the world on fire.'

'Stocks remained unchanged on news iit's best to let a sleeping dog lie.'