Calm Strategist T-Shirts

"We always take one piece out."

'If you can keep your head while all about are losing theirs...'

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

'Let's go! Let's go! Hustle! ...Relatively speaking.'

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'

'Oh, I HATE IT when he does that thing with his mouth...TALKING!'

'No, Bob, I haven't noticed you haven't spoken to me in 3 days... I just thought we were getting along.'

'It's a silent protest.'

"Your blood pressure is too high. Take two of these."

'You should have seen me sooner, Mr. Fenswick.'

"We're making progress."

Workaholics anonymous open all day every day.

Becalmed yachts

The night before the big meeting Frank receives a visit from the PowerPoint Fairy

"I'm incredibly happy - must be the medication speaking."

'Taking the anger management class has made you uncharacteristically nice, sir.'

The Death Star gets a marketing makeover.

'Remember, son. A winner is one who can keep his head while all around him are losing theirs.'

'Let's put it on the back burner for now. Give us both a chance to cool down.'

Cat Trap,

"Oh, you mellow with age alright: I even like the postman now..."

"Wel...come...to...my...zoom...meet...ing..."

Bear bends hunter's guns.

The team leader conserved energy at odd moments.

"Now, now, let's try using our NPR voice."

Office talk: 'I deal with stress management the easy way, I let management get stressed while I take it easy!'

Think: Everyone's out to get me.

'No kidding? You're the bluebird of mutually assured destruction deterrants?'

"It's great, Heidi! All the privacy I want without locking the door...And they probably won't figure it out until I'm in college!"

Dealing with Change.

'Oh, I'm reasonably ambitious about my military career, sir, but I don't want to set the world on fire.'

How David Really Won

Don't sweat the small stuff