Calm Crisis Handler T-Shirts

Please remain calm.

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

Fight or Flight

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

'Would you be interested in attending a stress management seminar?'

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

"Remember, Mort: Courage isn't the absence of fear. Courage is remaining media-savvy in the face of fear!"

Anger Management: Breathe in and Breathe out.

Man has a seatbelt and 'calm down tablets' to watch the world news.

'Wait til you see what fishing does for your nerves, Alice.'

"Actually we were hoping you'd be encouraging a more conciliatry approach to conflict management."

You May Bang Your Head Here/You May Talk To Here.

Relax.

Muzak's Top 10

'So, your anger management class is working?'

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

Tsipras and Merkel

"It's probably just stress, but let's take a look. Open up and say, ARGGGH!!!"

'Fred's a lot more relaxed since he began viewing life as just another spectator sport.'

'Taking the anger management class has made you uncharacteristically nice, sir.'

'We've simplified the control to 2 buttons - snooze and panic.'

'Remember, son. A winner is one who can keep his head while all around him are losing theirs.'

Master of Disaster

"My neighborhood is getting too noisy. Traffic, screaming kids, barking dogs … I'm used to living in quiet desperation."

Calm in the Face of Chaos

Chloe had again chosen tubing the river.

"Sit in the car. The doctor will be with you shortly to treat your road rage."

"You claim on your résumé that one of your skills is staying calm under stressful situations. I believe you."

"No, there's nothing wrong at my job. That's what's got me worried."

"Is something bothering you?"

"It wasn't me jumping up and down and yelling in class. It was the sugar talking."

"No sooner do we get over one problem, another rears its ugly head !"

'The therapy is working... I don't use all caps in emails anymore.'

"Thanks to yoga, mom no long jumps to conclusions. She gently stretches."